I love my sweet baby!

So Bryce, I have been feeling very weird lately, I have been feeling very far from you and not able to feel that you are around me. I feel like I have been looking for you for the past little while and in the search, I get lost and farther from you and I have been very sad but haven't been able to cry. Where have you been? Then tonight I was watching a show and there you were, I found you and you were there with me and I could feel you so strong, maybe making up for the lost time in the past little while I have been looking for you. I try so hard to put on this happy strong face so that people around me don't get uncomfortable and I think that I have let that run me and who I am lately. I am by no means happy that you aren't here with me. I do have some happiness in my life but I just feel that it would be so much different and better and happier if you were here. Everytime I get a snuggle moment with Trey, I am thinking how I wish more than anything that I could have that moment with you too. Life is so weird and awkward right now, it's so hard to explain, and I get caught up in life. But for tonight I just sat with you, holding your blanket and hat and loving them, knowing that I held you in them. That is all I have. So unfair, somethings are just so unfair. I love you little man and always will, no matter how caught up in life and things I get, you are always there in my heart and I think of you everyday. Please stay with me! I Love you!!