Wow...you'd be so big!

So the other day I went to Uncle Corey and Aunt Lisa's house for a little football party. Lisa's cousin was very pregnant when I lost you and I saw her and her little girl the other day and I had to hold back the tears...I couldn't believe how big you would be if you were here with me. She was running around, potty trained and talking like crazy. It was neat and sad to see at the same time, I couldn't help but feel a weird and kind of random connection with her. She was a little doll and I just think about what life would be like if you were here. Would tou be a little heathen or would you be well behaved? What kind of toys would you be into, would you be a star wars fanatic like your cousins? Man I just wish I knew. I could almost just picture you running around and stealing cookies off the counter and asking to go potty every 5 minutes just so you could play in the bathroom. I felt kinda dumb cause I said something about it to Lisa, Annie and Michelle and then I started to cry and I realized that I might look dumb so I had to stop talking because if I didn't I was going to be a mess. Anyway, I just had to write and tell you that I miss you and do think of you everyday, there hasn't been one day go by that I haven't thought of you. I miss you and wish you were here with us, but I know that you are a special Little Man and have other work that needs to be done to prepare our way to be a family again. But Right now I just can't stand it! I would love for you to be driving me crazy! So just know that I love you very very much. Miss you!